"Just About an Hour Ago We Had an Incident Where One of the Employees Stuck Their Arm Through the Cage and the Tiger Tore Her Arm Off... I Can Give You Your Money Back or I Can Give You a Rain Check."

"I’m a walking, talking meme."

"I don't know shit about politics. and if you want to write me in as president I'll guarant go goddamn tell you the first thing I'm going to do when I get in that oval offices you know that pen that th…"

"I'm the most misunderstood man in America."

"You want to be transgender then pay for the surgery, the government is not going to."