"I've bitten the head off a bat. I've bitten the head off a dove. What's next?"

"If there's one thing I wish for in my life, it's that I could take it all back."

"I'm not a very good barber. I always cut off an ear."

"I'm just trying to make it through the day without doing anything too stupid."

"If you can laugh at your mistakes, it's a good thing."