"I have decided that all the hospitals in the country, except for the capital, should be closed. People should come to Ashgabat if they are sick."

"We need to build a new golden age for Turkmenistan."

"I have decreed that all cars must be white, as white symbolizes purity."

"I watched the moon landings on TV, and I didn’t believe them. I think it’s a complete fake."

"I have made it compulsory for all citizens to learn to play the dutar. It is our national instrument."