"“I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm trying to be relevant.”"

"If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone."

"If you're going to be a celebrity, you might as well be a good one."

"I'm not a politician. I'm a comedian. I'm here to make you think, not vote."

"I'm not a genius. I'm just a guy who tries to be funny."