"If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?"

"I'm not a guru. I'm a guy who's trying to figure things out, just like you."

"Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes."

"I'm a little freaked out by the number of people who don't seem to notice the difference between 'you're' and 'your.' It's like, there's a huge difference, people!"

"I like it when a building burns down. I like to see the fire. I like to see the smoke. I like to see the destruction. I like to see the chaos."