"The waggish author of 'The New Mirror' is, I believe, the first who has openly maintained the doctrine that the great end of a writer is to get money."

"To be good, a double entendre should be at least good English when viewed on either side. Now we may lay by a piece of money — but we lie by a wife."

"Why is a chain like the feline race? Because it's a catenation. — a catty nation."

"It is not a matter of whether or not you will die, but of how you will live."

"The true genius is the man who can do the average thing when everyone else around him is losing his mind."