"On my 70th birthday I was going to get a tramp stamp."

"I wouldn't want to generalize, but we still do live in a society that's sexist and racist and addicted to class and has the ridiculous idea that if you have money you're smarter, which Donald Trump by…"

"When I was hosting the Today show, I had a little fat removed from above my eyes so I didn't look like Mao Zedong and I could wear my contacts. It looked worse afterward."

"Some of us are becoming the men we want (wanted) to marry."

"There were never that many women stand-up comics in the past because the power to make people laugh is also a power that gets people upset."