"When I am assailed by temptation, I find it good to eat, drink, and be merry, so that I may not be alone with the devil."

"The assembly of his greased and religious crew in praying was altogether like the croaking of frogs, which edified nothing at all."

"A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass."

"Thirdly, their prayer books and Talmudic writings, which are full of idolatry, lies, curses, and blasphemy, should be taken from them."

"The world is like a drunken peasant. If you help him to mount on one side of his horse, he tumbles off on the other."