"I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, 'Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?'"

"The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest."

"I am rough, boorish, stormy, and warlike. I am born to fight innately with innumerable monsters and devils."

"To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing."

"I would not smell the foul odor of your name."