Turkmenistan's Saparmurat Niyazov

I have ordered that all foreign names be changed to Turkmen names.

I have made it compulsory for all students to study 'Ruhnama' in schools and universities.

I want to make Turkmenistan a paradise on Earth.

I have ordered the creation of a 'Museum of the Ruhnama' in Ashgabat.

I have banned the use of gold teeth. Only natural teeth are allowed.

I have ordered the construction of a giant statue of my mother in Ashgabat.

I am a simple shepherd of my flock.

I have decreed that all government officials must wear traditional Turkmen dress.

I have made it a law that all public buildings must display a portrait of me.

I watched the moon landings on TV, and I didn’t believe them. I think it’s a complete fake.

Young people should not grow mustaches until they are 63.

Gold teeth are uncivilized. I order all citizens to replace them with white teeth.

I have renamed the month of January after myself.

Ice cream is banned because it makes you sick.

Every Turkmen must be able to read the Ruhnama at least three times. Those who read it three times will go straight to heaven.

I am not against having a parliament, but I am against having a parliament full of uneducated people.

I have created the Ruhnama in order to raise the spirit of the Turkmen people.

If a person is ill, let him go to a hospital. If a person is healthy, let him go to a library.

The Turkmen nation has no need for an academy of sciences. An academy of sciences is only for those who have no talent.

I am not God, but I am close to him. I am the voice of God.