Lenny Bruce

I'm not afraid of the truth. I'm afraid of lies.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour—ha ha ha ha ha—they’ll take you away, man.

I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

The only way to get laid is to get laid to rest.

“There are no dirty words, just dirty minds.”

“A lot of people say to me, 'Why do you say those words?' And I say, 'Because I like them.'”

“If you believe in God, you're a fool. If you don't believe in God, you're a fool.”

“I'm not a dirty comic. I'm an honest comic.”

“Every day people are being brainwashed into believing that they're supposed to be something that they're not.”

“I don't think there's any such thing as a bad word.”

“If I'm a dirty comic, it's because I'm talking about dirty things that exist in the world.”

“My only sin is honesty.”

“If you can't laugh at yourself, you're missing the point.”

“I'm not a rebel. I'm just a guy who tells the truth.”

“I'm not trying to shock you. I'm trying to make you think.”

“I'm not a moralist. I'm a reporter.”

“I'm not here to entertain you. I'm here to tell you the truth.”

“I'm not a comedian. I'm a social critic.”