Benjamin Franklin

Little strokes fell great oaks.

One today is worth two tomorrows.

Sloth makes all things difficult; but industry all easy.

Vessels large may venture more, but little boats should keep near shore.

For age and want save while you may; no morning sun lasts a whole day.

Remember that time is money.

Industry and frugality are the means of procuring wealth.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

After all, wedlock is the natural state of man. A bachelor is not a complete human being. He is like the odd half of a pair of scissors, which has not yet found its fellow, and therefore is not even half so useful as they might be together.

Eat to please yourself, but dress to please others.

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.

When you incline to have new clothes, look first well over the old ones, and see if you cannot shift with them another year, either by scouring, mending, or even patching if necessary. Remember, a patch on your coat, and money in your pocket, is better and more creditable, than a writ on your back, and no money to take it off.

A great talker may be no fool, but he is one that relies on him.

There are in life real evils enough, and it is folly to afflict ourselves with imaginary ones; it is time enough when the real ones arrive.

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

What's a sundial in the shade?

It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind. That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it. That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.

Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.

Discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreeable, to be mix'd with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.