Jonathan Swift

Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.

I have always held the principle that a nation should be governed by laws, and not by the caprice of a monarch.

We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are of the same kind.

Of all the dispositions of the mind, envy is the most diabolical, and the most productive of misery.

The greatest felicity of life is to be employed in a work, to which one is fitted by nature.

I am not fond of arguments, because they are generally productive of more heat than light.

One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.

A physician is an unfortunate gentleman who is every day required to perform a miracle; namely, to reconcile health with intemperance.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

It is as impossible to please all men as to make a coat for the moon.

The difference between a madman and a sane man is that the madman is in a minority.

I am assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London; that a young healthy child, well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food; whether stewed, roasted, baked or boiled, and I make no doubt, that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or ragout.

For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number of papists, with whom we are yearly overrun, being the principal breeders of the nation as well as our dangerous enemies...

Those who are more thrifty may flay the carcass, the skin of which, artificially dressed, will make admirable gloves for ladies and summer boots for fine gentleman.

If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.

Not die here in a rage, like a poisoned rat in a hole.