Barack Obama

You know, when I got to the White House, I was 47 years old. I left, I was 55. And I'm telling you, I looked older. I'm telling you. And I'm not talking about the gray hair. I'm talking about the bags under my eyes, the smile lines. I'm telling you, it's a tough job.

I'm not going to tell you how good I am. I'm going to tell you how good I was. And I don't want to brag, but I had a pretty good run.

I have to confess, I'm a little bit of a neat freak. I like things in their place. And if Michelle leaves her shoes in the middle of the room, it drives me nuts.

I was not a particularly good student in high school. I was a pretty good basketball player, but I was not a particularly good student. And I spent a lot of time doing things other than studying.

I think the one thing that I've learned is that, you know, being president is not for sissies. It's a tough job.

The truth is, I'm a pretty lazy person. I like to sleep in. I like to watch sports. I like to hang out with my friends. And I don't like to work too hard.

I'm a pretty good dancer. I'm not going to lie. I've got some moves.

I'm a pretty good cook. I make a mean chili. And I make a pretty good grilled cheese sandwich.

I'm a pretty good singer. I can carry a tune. I'm not going to win 'American Idol,' but I can carry a tune.

I'm a pretty good basketball player. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty good.

I am not a fan of selfies. I'm just not. I think they're a little bit narcissistic. But I do them because people ask me to.

I am not a fan of reality television. I'm just not. I think it's a little bit trashy. But I do watch it sometimes, because Michelle watches it.

I am not a fan of Donald Trump. I'm just not. I think he's a little bit of a buffoon.

I am a pretty good public speaker. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty good.

Michelle and I, we've got a pretty good relationship. We've been married for 25 years. And we still like each other.

I have to say, though, I do miss Air Force One. It's a pretty sweet ride.

I'm a pretty good student of criminal justice policy. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty good.

The thing about the American people, though, is they're not stupid. They're not going to be bamboozled. And they know when they're being jerked around.

I mean, you got to remember that for the vast majority of people, they're not looking for a handout. They're looking for a fair shot.

We're not going to be able to solve our problems if we are constantly demonizing each other.